Do you ever feel like you are on a merry-go-round, you know where you go round and round in circles, but don’t really seem to move? I have many days like that. I feel like I do so much but at the end of the day when I reflect on what all I have accomplished, I take a huge sigh and feel well…quite down. I know I am getting things accomplished, but not always at the pace I want to. I tend to be impatient once I get my mind set on something, this isn’t always a good thing but I am trying to use it to my advantage.
Several months back Mark and I decided we wanted to move from the Houston area to the Dallas/Ft Worth area. We have been wanting to do this for some time, but now decided it was the right time. Our business partner and attorney are there, as well as friends and family. I dreaded the thought of a move…both for obvious reasons and because it is so difficult for Peyton to adjust to some types of change. When I have moved before with him, he would cry and get frustrated by what he sees as taking him from his comfort zone. I can tell when Peyton feels stress, but doesn’t want to express it. He takes every suggestion, thought etc…as a way of “telling him what to do” Packing with Peyton can be stressful as he really doesn’t want to part with
anything…like a balloon he got once when we were at some event…when I suggest to him many of these items aren’t needed, he begrudgingly agrees. I have to be careful not to over push what he needs to part with all at once or else, he feels overwhelmed and has a melt down. This requires patience, which isn’t always easy when I am stressed with the move as well. Trying to pack up a 4100 sq foot home, all while starting a new school year and launching a new business is very overwhelming. When I moved with my older kids, it was a simple passing out of chores, responsibilities etc…not to say they always did them right, but it was a coordinated effort. Peyton requires extra time, energy, understanding and love. I remind myself he is doing what he thinks is best, he isn’t purposely adding extra stress, in fact he wants the added stress less than I do!
Right now we are feverishly working on packing and trying very hard to have Peyton be a part of that in a positive way. I assigned him the task of packing his room, as well as j. I gave him guidelines and was firm in the number of boxes he is allowed to have. So far he is doing well..not great..we have had issues with the lack of items he is parting with. Another issue he doesn’t quite comprehend that boxes can’t weigh an amount that makes it hard to carry. Slowly but surely we are getting it accomplished, not as quickly or smoothly as I would like, but we are making progress. So while it’s true there are moments I feel like I am on that merry go round….I do feel like I am making progress and soon we will be able to move forward! It’s a great life skills lesson for Peyton and a lesson in patience and unconditional love for me!