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Intimacy Forgotten: How To Reclaim Your Relationship After Childbirth
The birth of a child is an amazing and exciting experience. But it’s one that changes your life
forever. Sometimes, we have trouble adapting to our new role as moms while also remembering
that our relationship has to be a priority as well.
Today, the Awesomeism Mom shares some tips on how to maintain intimacy in your
relationship after the birth of a new baby.
Often, a new mom will take on nearly 100% of the responsibilities for the baby. If this sounds
familiar, you already know how exhausting growing and nurturing new life can be. Talk with your
spouse or partner about the role you expect them to play, especially in the early days. If you are
breastfeeding, ask them to change diapers. You can also request to take turns bottle feeding
your infant when they wake throughout the night so that you can each get at least some sleep.
Find A Babysitter.
We know, we know. The thought of leaving your tiny tot with a stranger may send panic down
your spine. But we have to let go some time. As stressful as it is and as anxious as you may be,
there are plenty of great nannies and babysitters out there, and you can assuage some of your
concerns by checking into their history, which may include felony and misdemeanor convictions,
their driving record, and an identity and qualifications verification.
Don’t Shy Away From Intimate Moments.
Parents online magazine acknowledges that your postpartum body may feel like that of a stranger.
Couple this with exhaustion and no longer feeling like the best version of yourself, and
intimacy may be the last thing you think you want. However, you can’t forget about your
relationship or the things that brought you joy before parenthood. Look for ways to help you and
your partner get in the mood by wearing sexy pajamas (bonus points if you can nurse in the same outfit),
turning the lights down low, and just being present with one another. Even if it
doesn’t lead to sex, these intimate moments are important for your relationship.
Make Time For Yourself.
Making time for yourself is not a pipe dream. Even once your little one makes their way into your
life, you are not just a mom; you are still an individual with your own unique and very important
needs. Give yourself permission to make time for yourself. This might mean stocking up on extra milk
if you’re breastfeeding and learning to trust your partner with your little one’s care so
that you can enjoy a long bath or pedicure.
Discuss Your Feelings.
You may find that your spouse or partner thinks that you love your children more than you do
them. And you might. As you can see in this Metro Parent post, the jury is out on which
relationship is most important between your kids and your spouse. It’s our opinion that you can
love both and that there is no comparison because they are different types of love. Your feelings
may change toward your spouse once you become parents together. Talk about it. The only
way to truly understand one another and to continue to grow your relationship is if you know
where the other stands.
At the end of the day, you are still a woman with unique needs and a relationship to nurture.
Whether this means wearing a cute and flirty nursing nighty for these precious few intimate
moments or hiring a babysitter (that you have, of course, run a background check on), you owe
it to yourself and your partner to make sure that you both put effort into your relationship.
Awesomism Mom is a helpful and supportive place that strives to help others understand what
they need to know about autism, anxiety, and self-care.
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